Friday, June 11, 2004

I was startled by the pain in your face. My own thoughtlessness and selfishness had been more than an irritation to you; it had caused you great pain. I had no good reasons, not even excuses that would explain my carelessness regarding you and I. My words were slow and heavy, inadequate to justify my actions.

You have seen me in a moment of human failure. I have no persuasive reasons to make you see me in the same light as before, and I do not even see myself in the same light. Failure tends to make one re-evaluate the contradictions between motives and actions.

Sometimes saying "I'm sorry, will you forgive me?" seems insufficient to reconcile our failures. I wish there was another magical phrase that could erase the pain we cause another. I suppose if there were, however, we would go around failing everyone we know because it could just be erased.

The pain I caused is not erasable. But because it's there, I am reminded not to make another mark on you.


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