Sunday, May 16, 2004

Twilight Zone

Having now been home an entire week, I am just now slowly coming out of the twilight zone between my school life and home life. Coming home always gives me a strange feeling at first. In one sense home is so normal and familiar, as if I had never left. We have the same furniture, the same cups are in the cupboard, the computer is still a little slow, my ivy plant is still on the back porch, and my dad's red shirt is still hanging up on the coat rack. All these things make it east to fit bakc into home life. On the other hand, I keep stumbling across things that make me realize how much can change in four months. My youngest brother and sister have grown about three inches, our bathroom is entirely redecorated, my sister leaves for work every morning (with my car), and my mom has groups of cute little children that come to her in the afternoon for piano lessons.

Stranger still are the moments when I remember experiences and people relating to things of which my family has no idea about. It's as if I live two separate lives which are entirely disconnected with one another and I jump back and forth from one to the other every four months. I suppose that that is all a part of being a college student, but it does make a twilight zone which I must pass through going from one life to the next. I muddle my way through it every week following coming home. It doesn't always show on the outside, but my brain is in a constant see-saw trying to re-program everything for the appropriate life. Hopefully I never lose myself going from one to the other.


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