Thursday, April 08, 2004

I've just finished registering for my Fall 04' semester classes with a grand total of 17 credits; 11 classes to be exact. Since yesterday I've been desperately trying to fit the rest of my program into the next two years. It feels like a big logic puzzle where you have to shuffle around the variables just right until you get the correct answer. The only difference in this case is that I couldn't come up with the answer I wanted. I shuffled around classes, credits, times, and summer school options until I was blue in the face, and finally resigned myself to the fact that unless I take over 20 credits each semester, I won't graduate until December 06'. It seems like an endless line of classes and credits sometimes, and there's always the little nagging fear that I'll get all the way into my last senior semester, thinking I'll graduate, and there will be a one credit class that slipped through the cracks.

Through this I've discovered I have a small obsession with finishing college as soon as possible. I have no idea where this obsession came from. Perhaps it stems from being an oldest child who was homeschooled, and thus I'm used to being ahead of the game. It irks me that I can't fit my program into the next two years, even though I have no idea why graduating a semester later would make such a difference. It's probably because I'm feeling the urge to get on with 'real' life. College is reportedly the best years of one's life, but I find myself beginning to long for normal life things. I want to go to the grocery store and buy food I want to eat, have a couch that I can flop on at the end of the day, spend Saturdays doing nothing at all, read books just for fun, and wake up in the morning excited about going to work.

On the other side, I have people telling me to enjoy these years while I have no responsibilities. They tell me that this will be the only time I'll be free to do whatever I want, and won't have to worry about bills, work, family, etc. The funny thing is, part of me does want to worry about those things, just because that would mean that I would have them.

And then I think, what's the big hurry? One more semester isn't that much compared to the next 60+ years I have to live.


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