Thursday, April 29, 2004

I wonder what makes the tears come one day and not the next. I never expect them, never mediate on the loss to make them come. One day the thought brings a smile, and yet on others like today, the tears come with a deep piercing ache. I have grown accustomed to living without Them. Though They were a part of my entire life, a solid presence of support and love, I have learned to cherish the memories and be proud of the way I am because of Them. Yet, every once in a while there is still a sharp pain, the intense knowledge of Their absence. Tonight I was merely letting my voice rest from practicing, so I started playing the piano. Maybe it was the slow air I was playing, or maybe it was the similar feel and sound of the piano, but the uninvited ache began again, and I realized how much I still miss Them. I found myself asking again, does it ever stop hurting?

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