Sunday, January 18, 2004


I tend to be a very analytical person. I am analytical about life and people in general, but even more so of myself. I pick apart my motivations, my actions, and my ambitions. I do this to better understand myself and my actions, usually for the purpose of changing or explaining myself to others.

As a result of all this analyzing, I know that much of my life is geared towards the benefit of other people. I do not say this to appear self-righteous or overly spiritual, but am merely stating the facts. For example, my career is geared towards education and mentoring, so that others will have opportunities that they may not have otherwise. This career will most likely not make much money, per say, and even though I could have chosen any other career and done very well, educating and helping others is what I love. All this to say that my focus is usually on other people and how I can best help them.

Recently, however, I have discovered a part of my life in which I am inherently selfish. I have also realized that I feel no remorse whatsoever about this selfishness. I also feel no need to justify myself. I have no cause for apology or reform and am quite resolute in my decision to remain this way. I am even willing (though reluctant to) hold to this selfishness though it may hurt another person's feelings.

As I contemplated this, I further realized that my selfishness in this area is something that most people commend and admire. Though selfishness is usually a trait that is condemned and frowned upon, it has now apparently become an asset.

And so I shall continue being selfish.


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